Vanilla Twilight
by ChrissyKlay
Summary: Bella's thoughts after Edward leaves in New moon. R&R plz Song fic. be nice


**Disclamier: i own nothing, Song by Owl city **

**Enjoy**

* * *

BPOV

If I was to say I was tired of all the pain I think it would be an understatement, I knew something was wrong with Edward the last week after my

fateful birthday party. Where Jasper had attacked me, I did not blame him at all; after all, I was the one who was not being careful. I should have

known something like this would happen soon enough. I felt bad for Jasper because I knew he felt so awful for trying to hurt me. I was planning

to apologize to him the next time we talked, but that did not happen.

I cannot remember how long I have lain here, I am sure the bed has a permeate imprint of my body in it now. I only move to use the restroom or

eat something here and there, I have lost weight I can that much. Thank goodness, we are on winter break for two weeks or I do not think I

would have made it if I had to face the public.

**The stars lean down to kiss you **

**And I lie awake and miss you **

I think its four o'clock in the morning; I wonder what time it is where he is. My heart sinks further into my chest when I think of him and what he

must be doing. Probably with some other girl that he's tricking into thinking, he loves her. A toy to him that is what I was, I don't think that is

what made me mad the most. It was that he had tricked me and I had feel for it, I had made a fool out of myself in front of everyone I knew.

**Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere **

**'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly **

I felt the tears fall down my cheeks, but there was so much I missed about him. The way he held me at night and acted like he cared for my

safety.

"Safety…" I laughed aloud this time.

**But I'll miss your arms around me **

**I'd send a postcard to you dear **

**'Cause I wish you were here**

Sometimes I thought back at how foolish I had been, shit how foolish I had looked. I was almost cretin my friends had laughed at me behind my

back when they saw me with him everyday. He knew they were laughing at me though after all he could read there minds.

**I'll watch the night turn light blue **

**But it's not the same without you**

**Because it takes two to whisper quietly **

In a way, I was glad he had finally told me the truth that night in the woods; hopefully I would get better and move on. Go to La Push and hang

out with my old friend Jacob Black he always knew how to have a good time… the quiet was not bad though I like it better then the lies he feed

me.

**The silence isn't so bad **

**Till I look at my hands and feel sad **

**'Cause the spaces between my fingers**

**Are right where yours fit perfectly **

The thoughts never stopped about him though, maybe they never would but I had to try to forget. Getting up from my bed I made me way over to

the sink in the restroom, lightly I could here Charlie getting ready for work. I closed the door quickly and locked it; I hated him to see me like this.

The light was off and I was afraid to see my haunted reflection in the mirror. The light flipped on and behind me, his reflection stared at me through golden eyes.

**I'll find repose in new ways **

**Though I haven't slept in two days**

My eyes widened and for the first time I took in my appearance along with his, my hair was a mess and my skin was paler than before 'we

matched' I thought to myself…my eyes were tired and had dark circles beneath them. His hair was tousled, his perfect skin was flawless but his

eyes were dark and bruised. I could tell we both hadn't eaten or rested in days…

**'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone **

**But drenched in vanilla twilight **

**I'll sit on the front porch all night **

**Waist-deep in thought because when **

**I think of you I don't feel so alone **

My heart was beating out from my chest as his hand come to rest on my shoulder, my skin shivered and sent chills down my body. His skin was

cold as ice, I felt my world spin and I had to throw my hands upon the sink. The marble was as cold as his hands…

**I don't feel so alone**

**I don't feel so alone **

I felt the bile hot as fire come from my throat as my head shot forward to spew the non-existence of my stomach into the white sink. His hand

rested on my stomach this time… and I gasped for air through my fiery lungs.

**As many times as I blink **

**I'll think of you tonight**

**I'll think of you tonight **

"Bella…don't kill yourself this way its time to move one…" his voice was velvety to my ears.

My body took control before I realized what I had done, but I was glad I had done it. My fist came around to connect with his chest but instead it

went through him connecting with the now dented drywall, he was never there and I had known it but as my bruised and broken fist lay there in

the smashed pieces of the wall my legs failed me, I slid to the floor in a crumbled mess…

"Go to hell..............................." I spat ......."I wish you were here"

**When violet eyes get brighter**

**And heavy wings grow lighter**

**I'll taste the sky and feel alive again **

**And I'll forget the world that I knew **

**But I swear I won't forget you **

**Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past **

**I'd whisper in your ear, **

**Oh darling I wish you were here**

* * *

**R&R**

**thanx Chrissy**


End file.
